As I was preparing to write this I received an email from a very special friend of mine who had some very timely and meaningful comments about the blog entry titled “Desire – Part 5.” He gave me permission to use what he wrote.
“It appears that your blog no longer accepts comments, so I will write to you directly. I was struck by something you wrote in your entry ‘Desire-Part 5.’ Near the end you mention that in your desire for Emmy to receive a visa you have really become a part of her family; that you are no longer on the sidelines but clearly in the middle. Your comment that maybe you should be more on the sidelines struck me as interesting. I think that you are not in the wrong place to be in the middle of the situation, standing alongside her in this desire to see the visa come through. I think we have this idea in our culture that we need to be neutral observers, impartial and unmoved by those we are ministering to. In some situations that may be true. But in a situation like yours, I don’t know that this is the case. I think of Christ, who did not stand neutrally outside our situation, offering support and suggestions but not entering into our pain and suffering. Instead he entered fully into it, bearing the consequences to the utmost degree. Was there pain involved? Most certainly, even for the Son of God. Is there the potential for pain in becoming an integral part of Emmy’s world? Of course there is. That’s the risk we take in incarnational ministry. But it is a risk well worth it, I think. For some, younger and less mature in faith than you, there might be some risk of disappointment with God and a corresponding effect on one’s faith. But I’m confident that you are mature enough to handle the disappointment if it should turn out that the Father’s will is somehow different than what you desire. Whatever the outcome it will be an opportunity for you and Emmy to grow in Him.”
As I lay on my bed, that Sunday evening after being with Emmy and her family, I realized that this visa means as much to me as it does them. Either way, there will be difficulties for Emmy and her family to face. If she comes to the US she will have to stay for four years. If she were to return for one of the summer breaks, they would not allow her to return. For a one child family that is as close as they are that four year separation will be big. That is why I want my family to be in the picture; to be family to her, as she and her parents are to me.
As I lay there on my bed thinking, I began to have conversation with my Father about the visa. The path toward the visa seems so clear and so obstacle free. All indications are that a visa would complete the picture. It seems so right, but my faith is being seriously hindered by my western thinking. If only I could break free and truly see what God is doing and know that I am on the path with him.
I paused in my part of the conversation and I heard him say, “Steve, you just don’t get it do you?” I said, “What do you mean, I don’t get it?” He said, “What is faith?” I replied, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I then told him that I felt I didn’t have either in this case. Then he said, “What are all the events and situations that have lead you to this point. Are they not evidence that I am doing something? Did I not tell you, when you met Emmy that I had plans for her, that my hand was on her? Are you saying that you see no evidence that a visa is in the picture?” I then said, “Father, forgive me, I do see the evidence, but I just don’t have the assurance that you are going to provide.
I am sure glad that God is patient because I sure am a slow learner. You will also have to be patient with me because I am going to have to continue this tomorrow.
“It appears that your blog no longer accepts comments, so I will write to you directly. I was struck by something you wrote in your entry ‘Desire-Part 5.’ Near the end you mention that in your desire for Emmy to receive a visa you have really become a part of her family; that you are no longer on the sidelines but clearly in the middle. Your comment that maybe you should be more on the sidelines struck me as interesting. I think that you are not in the wrong place to be in the middle of the situation, standing alongside her in this desire to see the visa come through. I think we have this idea in our culture that we need to be neutral observers, impartial and unmoved by those we are ministering to. In some situations that may be true. But in a situation like yours, I don’t know that this is the case. I think of Christ, who did not stand neutrally outside our situation, offering support and suggestions but not entering into our pain and suffering. Instead he entered fully into it, bearing the consequences to the utmost degree. Was there pain involved? Most certainly, even for the Son of God. Is there the potential for pain in becoming an integral part of Emmy’s world? Of course there is. That’s the risk we take in incarnational ministry. But it is a risk well worth it, I think. For some, younger and less mature in faith than you, there might be some risk of disappointment with God and a corresponding effect on one’s faith. But I’m confident that you are mature enough to handle the disappointment if it should turn out that the Father’s will is somehow different than what you desire. Whatever the outcome it will be an opportunity for you and Emmy to grow in Him.”
As I lay on my bed, that Sunday evening after being with Emmy and her family, I realized that this visa means as much to me as it does them. Either way, there will be difficulties for Emmy and her family to face. If she comes to the US she will have to stay for four years. If she were to return for one of the summer breaks, they would not allow her to return. For a one child family that is as close as they are that four year separation will be big. That is why I want my family to be in the picture; to be family to her, as she and her parents are to me.
As I lay there on my bed thinking, I began to have conversation with my Father about the visa. The path toward the visa seems so clear and so obstacle free. All indications are that a visa would complete the picture. It seems so right, but my faith is being seriously hindered by my western thinking. If only I could break free and truly see what God is doing and know that I am on the path with him.
I paused in my part of the conversation and I heard him say, “Steve, you just don’t get it do you?” I said, “What do you mean, I don’t get it?” He said, “What is faith?” I replied, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I then told him that I felt I didn’t have either in this case. Then he said, “What are all the events and situations that have lead you to this point. Are they not evidence that I am doing something? Did I not tell you, when you met Emmy that I had plans for her, that my hand was on her? Are you saying that you see no evidence that a visa is in the picture?” I then said, “Father, forgive me, I do see the evidence, but I just don’t have the assurance that you are going to provide.
I am sure glad that God is patient because I sure am a slow learner. You will also have to be patient with me because I am going to have to continue this tomorrow.
