As you read the following email from Lisa, try to imagine yourself in her shoes. She is a single woman in a foreign country and doesn't speak their language. Now she finds herself inside a health care system that is so different than ours and is about to receive news that will shake her to the very core of her being. I received the following email on January 18th.
Well, it's confirmed, I have a small malignant tumor in the lower colon area -- and it is said that I must have surgery to remove it within the next 1-2 weeks. The doctor is positive, but then again, I don't know if I'm getting the "Chinese" version or the "USA" version ....let me explain.
Apparently, when something like this is discovered in a Chinese person, the Chinese do not want to hear the "bad news". They feel it will impede their recovery. So when I went for my first consultation Friday awaiting the pathology report, my doctor point blank asked me if I wanted the indirect "Chinese" version, or direct "USA" version. I was confused so he had to explain this cultural phenomenon. I opted, of course, for the "USA version". Last Friday's visit was sheer frustration...he told me nothing I already didn't know, and the pathology wasn't ready yet. Today I went to get the report and he told and showed me the picture of the tumor, as well as telling me it was small, in a "good area", and also that it didn't appear to be spreading. However, a CT Scan hasn't been done yet, so that still needs to be done. What is inevitable is the surgery to remove the mass.
I'm scared, so scared. Of course, I cried, but uncharacteristically, I haven't felt any anger or bitterness. It's strange. I feel such an overwhelming peace that God knew this in His plan long ago, and it's no surprise to Him -- and knowing that -- He sent me to China when He did! So, you know, even though the cultural shock events still pop up especially in hospital environment, etc -- in wave after wave -- which is overwhelming alone -- I have a strong support system here -- students who have volunteered their services in the midst of their Final Exam preparation to go through the maze of the hospitals here, "power positive" encouragers on every corner, brothers & sisters gathering around here at the apartment complex amongst the foreign students to pray over and with me -- and I've started writing out and posting scriptures of promise tacked all over my apartment. The doctors went so far to say that this is fairly common problem, and can be resolved very easily.
I don't FEEL SICK. Not one bit. No more bleeding, ironically enough -- I feel perfectly fine. My energy has been high for quite some time -- I still can't grasp the reality of "being so sick". I don't feel it. But the pictures are there, so that's that.
I haven't asked WHY either, which anyone who knows me is NOT my norm. So, hey, maybe I've grown some? Somehow amidst it all -- or perhaps it'll come later -- I know why. I've been discouraged this semester about lack of opportunities to share my life & heart story with anyone. Now within the last three days, I've been able to state to the students helping me a clear voicing of my belief system and how I feel about it all and know my Father loves me so much, I am promised He is with me experiencing everything with me. I tell them how He has provided them to be at my side...it seems like this thing can be licked. and that in America, even with a full time job, I'd have been paying some pretty hefty co pays. Here, the school insurance (which I didn't know I had beforehand) covers my operation procedure & hospital stay completely. I don't have to prepay for anything except the outpatient procedures. The timing is perfect -- I'm completely finished with my classes now and bought a ticket to Chengdu a long time ago. Sara and Bob have opened up their homes & hearts to me again to help me through the hospital process & recovery. The doctor says I should be home in 10 days following surgery. Soooooo...there it is! Still, however, I have moments of great fear and well, the cultural aspects of hospitals are mountains here.
Today, I was having a third meltdown mid-morning with my Chinese student/friend standing helplessly by -- a doctor came up to me at the nurses' station and asked if I was from America -- instead of answering I started boo-hooing. I had to walk over to a quiet area, and he asked me to come into his office -- basically, I got a free consultation. He started ringing up all his colleagues -- he was the kindest, most personable doctor I've met yet. I felt very fortunate that he came up on this overwhelmed, overstressed teacher & her student at a perfect time & then opened his kindness & gave up his lunch time to calm me down & give me courage.
Prayer request is the obvious of course, in thing -- but more importantly for the moment, I feel overwhelmed with all the decision making I must make in the next 48 hours about whether to go back to the kind doctor & his outstanding colleagues here in Wuhan and cancel the trip to Chengdu -- thereby missing any chance or prayer of a vacation -- but the plus is I'd be local, no travel, and handy to my house -- and my bank is here in case of financial emergency; Alice and other close friends are close by to feed me (hospitals in China do not feed patients -- you have to have someone help you with meals or other more commercialized arrangements); the insurance for the hospital is here with a hospital directly associated with Huazhong University -- and I was impressed by the hospital ---- but well, it IS WUHAN where language barriers abound;
2) Go on to Chengdu on Thursday as planned with a chance at some relaxation & "fun" watching Riverdance on Sunday night; fellowship on Sunday morning with the folks there at Red River; and of course, Bob & Sara & their puppies close at hand --- The hospital is one of the largest hospitals in China; Chengdu is more international; but I have unknowns in doctors except for a letter of commendation from my current doctor here in Wuhan to one of his colleagues at the Xi Hua Hospital associated with Sizchuan University; and use my non-refundable ticket & have a small chance of some "fun" since the upcoming semester promises to be a bear.
I just can't seem to make up my mind!!! The school covers either hospital. So, well, that's my world lately. Tomorrow I go to Union Hospital again because I want to meet the doctors there in case I decide to do the surgery here in Wuhan -- or repeat the procedure for a second opinion...Oh, that's another decision. If I get a second opinion, in other words repeat the colonoscopy & lab work for confirmation -- where that's the norm, it obviously delays a much needed, allegedly needed critically timed operation by a week -- to do second opinion & delay or just go for it. And then of course ...where? Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Which is the best thing to do when dealing with cancer?
So that's it all in a walnut sized nutshell....or is it the Brazil nut that's the largest??
We will tune in Monday for her decision.
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